Tell me it gets better. I used to have this happy, carefree easy little toddler running around and spreading joy to all those who met him. And then something happened. I can trace it back to when he got sick and horribly fussy, and he never seemed to recover emotionally after he stopped being sick. It must have been a couple months ago, and I lost my sweet little child to constant whining. Today he was so whiny I couldn't even think straight. So whiny that I ended up in my room with the door shut, just in tears, while Teagan was in tears on the outside crying about something I wouldn't let him do. It was just one of those days where his constant whining caught up to me and nearly sent me to the looney bin. I was getting ready to go to lunch with my friend Anisha who's visiting from san Francisco and, of course, Teagan didn't want me to get ready. He wanted a 5th stick of string cheese, or the toothpaste, or to bang on the keyboard or suck on the marbles. All the things that I won't let him do for his own good, not because I want to provoke the whining. Believe me, that's the last thing I want to do. A lot of times i just give him what he wants, so as to avoid the wrath of Teagan, but in cases where his overall safety or health is at risk i have to deny him his wants, and in doing so I unleash the wrath of Teagan. I try to tiptoe carefully around it all day, doing things to distract him, but inevitably it makes its way to the surface in whatever way it can - screaming, hitting Easton, hitting himself, and the shrill cry of dissatisfaction.
What's a mother to do? I got myself ready despite the madness, loaded him in the car while he screamed because I stopped him from running in the street (horrible, I know), and then I cried while he proceeded to cry the entire drive. I called my mom, because that's what we do, even as moms - we call our moms when we're in shambles. I told her that Teagan hates me and all the world and that I must be a horrible mother because I can't figure out why my little guy is so miserable. And, of course, my sweet mother told me to bring Teags to her house so that she and my dad could take him for the night. So I made a pit stop on the way to lunch and left Teagan with my parents. He was so happy and pleasant as he greeted Grandpa, as if he'd never been cranky a day in his life. He's always good at my parents' house. Good for them. But not for his mama. I don't know what it is, maybe he just enjoys the change of scenery. Easton never went through a fussy stage that lasted this long, and it didn't ever get this bad so I'm at a loss. Just shows how different kiddies are.
I sure love my little Teags, but I just desperately needed a break today. I'm not sure what to do to help him. Maybe he's just a really super duper extra fussy teether. But he's not just fussy, ask all my in-laws. He's crying or angry about something more often than not. I just want to be a good mom and make my children happy, so hopefully this will pass and I'll get my sweet little Teagan back so that he can be happy and I can feel sane again. I'm his mama, and I just want to fix him , and I hate feeling so helpless. This little itty bitty guy should be simple to figure out. They eat, they play, they poop, they sleep. What more does he need? How can something so small be so demanding and so complex? I wish I knew. What's a mother to do?
1 comment:
him and Nadia... She is finally outgrowing that but tends to relapse on occassion, yesterday was one of those days here! I find a snuggle and a story does her more good than anything else, but I know you can't snuggle and story (or whatever it is that he likes) all of the time. Chin up girl, and let him visit grandma when you can't handle it any more!
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