Tuesday, April 17th

When I wrote last Friday, I mentioned that Logan had been doing pretty well through the night. But Friday and Saturday were not very good nights with him. He was up a lot and wouldn’t sleep. Sunday night he did ok, but he didn’t go to sleep until 1 am. He was wide awake from 10pm till 1 am, as if his parents hadn’t a care in the world. But he did sleep that night until 5 am, and I had to wake him up at 8:30 to take Easton to school.  So I wasn’t too sleep deprived Sunday night. Last night he did better. He went to bed at 11, and then woke up at 2am and 5 am. He went right back to sleep, though, after I fed him both times. Then we got up at 8:30. Three-hour blocks work fine for me, especially if he goes right back to sleep and isn’t up just being awake. I’ve been trying the Babywise schedule in the day like I did with Easton and Teagan. Logan’s just a little young, so it’ hard to keep him awake when he needs to be and hard to make him sleep when he needs to be. But hopefully within the next few weeks, he will adjust to the schedule and start sleeping through the night. He will be 2 weeks tomorrow, and it sort of seems like I’ve had him for much longer than that. Sleep deprivation really gets to me.

I was reading a friend’s post on FB today, and she just had a baby 5 weeks ago. She had commented that now she knows why some people have so many children – because babies are just so sweet. My sister and I always wonder about people like this. How can they think that way when they have a newborn? With a newborn, I simply go into survival mode. My whole goal is to make it through the first 8 weeks alive and sane and not on an anti-depressant. I envy moms with newborns who just soak up those first 8 weeks as if they can’t get enough of it. And don’t get me wrong – I love my babies, but I really start to appreciate their adorableness as they get a little older, like 3 months. So I sort of feel like I’m a bad mom since I don’t love, or really even like, the first several weeks of my babies’ lives, even though I love my babies. I wish I could be more like those women, but for whatever reason,  the first 8 weeks of a newborn’s life is not easy for me. I do, however, LOVE the toddler stages, and that is what makes me say, “Now I know why people have so many children.” To not have a two or 3-year-old in my house will be a sad day to me. I’m glad my sister gets me on this. At least I’m not alone in my weirdness. We can both be bad moms together, I guess.

We didn’t do a lot this weekend. Friday and Saturday night Jacob and I watched a movie together after we put the boys to bed. We haven’t had a lot of together time since Logan arrived, which, of course, is completely understandable. So it was nice to just snuggle up in my bed with the hubby. We went to church on Sunday, and Logan slept the entire time. After church we went to my parents like usual and hung out with the family for a little while. Yesterday was my first day getting Easton to school since Logan was born. It wasn’t too bad. It was also my first time out with the 3 boys. It’s always scary to take a new baby out for the first time, to me anyway. What if he cries when you’re waiting in line and people look at you? What if he poops and you have to change him in a public restroom? What if he doesn’t want to sit in his car seat? When you don’t have a baby, you forget how easy it is to just get up and go somewhere. Anyway, he ended up sleeping the whole time. After I picked Easton up, I fed Logan a bottle in the car, and then we made our way to the dollar store so Easton could buy some things with the money his grandparents are always giving him. He and Teagan love to go the dollar store and buy toys that break the same day they buy them. After the dollar store we headed to Target, and that went well too. Logan didn’t make a peep at either store. When Jacob got home we went for a walk as a family and stopped by a friend’s house in our ward. The boys got to ride their bikes, and they love to go on bike rides through the neighborhood. We had a quick FHE when we got home and then got the boys bathed and into bed. I certainly have an adorable family and love all these moments that I get to spend with my boys.

Here is a pic of Logan right after his sponge bath. His cord hasn’t fallen off yet, but I can’t wait until it does so he can enjoy a real bath. Whenever Logan opens his eyes really wide, Teagan says, “Oh, dat’s a scary face.” But I think it’s a cute face.