This morning I had a meeting with Bro. Gunnerson from the Bishopric in which I was released from Young Women’s and called to be a Bear leader. I hope Bro. Gunnerson could not read the detestation oozing from my face for two reasons – one for being released from Young Women’s and the other for being called to Cub Scouts. He thanked me for my service with the young women and told me how I could continue to have even better relationships with them, but all I wanted him to do was stop talking to me so that I could leave and let the tears flow freely. I’ve known since Thursday night that something was coming but I wasn’t sure if I was going to be released, and it was worse than I anticipated. I’m pretty sure that I have said the words (and meant them), “I would rather die than be in scouts.”
I have never been sad when I’ve been released from a calling, but probably worse than the fact that I’ve been called to scouts is the fact that I’ve been released from Young Women’s. Who would do such a thing to me? I love my girls. I LOVE them. I’m happy in there. And somehow the Priesthood feel it is their job to disrupt the happiness of the members they serve and call it the opportunity for growth – that’s just a fancy way of saying, “This really stinks, but you’ll have to learn to suck it up and like it.Such is life.” But here I am sitting at home, not in Sacrament meeting with my husband and children, because I can’t stop crying and feeling too angry to be at church. Because if I see my Young Women they’ll make me cry. Or if I see the person taking my place, I might punch her for cozying up to my Young Women. I can’t decide who I’m more mad at – the Bishopric for ruining all my happy plans with my Young Women, my husband for knowing about this and giving them permission to call me to Scouts, my mother for teaching me to sustain my Priesthood leaders and that there is never a good reason to say no to a calling, or Heavenly Father for thinking all these changes up in the first place. Or perhaps myself for believing my mom when she said that you shouldn’t say no to a calling and that you should always sustain your Priesthood leaders.
Now, I know that Bro. Gunnerson said that I shouldn’t feel like I wasn’t doing a good job, but I just feel like if the girls needed me I’d still be in there, but they apparently don’t need me anymore. So I also feel unneeded.
When Bro. Gunnerson said the word “bear” I chuckled – not happily, but I did chuckle. My dad always laughs when he’s mad, maybe that’s where I got it from. Bear leader. Is that even a real calling?! What kind of calling is named after an animal? They should not have told me that I was released before church. They should have waited until after church to tell me about it and given me the week to come to terms with this madness before I was officially released for everyone to know about. Bro. Gunnerson is officially on my list for today. Along with all the other people I already mentioned.
This past Thursday (the 26th) we made some more progress on our kitchen island. Later in the day we stayed at Aliante Hotel with Bec, Jud, and Sadie. Becca’s in-laws had accidentally booked 2 rooms for the wrong date, so Becca invited us to use one with her and Jud. We checked in to the hotel around 5, went to eat at Café Rio, then took the kids to see Ice Age (we dropped Logan off to Mom Edgel before the movie started), and then went back and hung out in our hotel room. Joe and Laura came too and hung out with us in our room. Jacob left to pick Logan up from his mom after hanging out for a bit with all of us. The kids had so much fun. In the morning, we woke up and went to eat breakfast at the buffet, which was gross like all buffets are, and then we checked out and took the kiddos swimming for a bit. The hotel has a really nice pool that the kiddos were excited to swim in. After swimming, we dropped Becca and Sadie off at their house, came home and got Logan down for a nap while Jacob went to look at guns with Juddy and his dad, and then we headed back to Becca’s house to swim and watch the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. I’m really sad that we don’t have TV service right now because the Olympics are my absolute favorite.
Yesterday we got more done around the house, and Jacob installed the baseboards on the kitchen island. I just need to sand it all down now and paint it. Hopefully soon I can start on my cabinets.
Around 7 pm we had a ward activity by Jacob's parents’ house, so we went to the ward activity and then I headed over to the Edgels to feed Logan while Jacob and the boys cleaned up at the activity. We got home pretty late last night, and then I had that dreadful meeting this morning where my happy calling was torn from my life like a baby from its mothers arms. And now I better go wake Logan up and get us to the remainder of church.
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