Well, yesterday Jacob and I would have been sealed to each other had he not gotten the stomach flu Friday and had I not woken up with it Saturday. It’s just one of those things that you’re sure Heavenly Father will take away since it’s your sealing day, and then when He doesn’t you’re left wondering why in the world He wouldn’t make you well so that you could be sealed in the Temple to your husband. Needless to say, it was a grumpy day for me. I was mad at Jacob for getting sick and mad at Heavenly Father for not “letting” us get sealed. Plus, I was sick, and when I’m sick I cry a lot, so I spent most of the day crying that Heavenly Father doesn’t want us to be together forever and being mad at my husband for not pushing through his sickness and getting sealed to me anyway.
Life is full of disappointments. And sometimes you just don’t know why. Why didn’t it work out, why didn’t Heavenly Father hand out a miracle when it was for a really righteous purpose? He continues to teach me that He knows best. It’s not really something that I ever learn and then remember for the rest of my life. I have to always be taught it over and over again because I still say, “Don’t you care? This is a good thing I’m asking for.” So I had to be taught that again yesterday, that even when I don’t know why He won’t intervene that He knows best. He didn’t make Adam repent and come back to me when I wanted that to happen. I sometimes felt so mad – not mad, but hurt - that He wouldn’t save my marriage until I realized a while later, when Adam used his agency to choose another life, that Heavenly Father had brought me something better. Jacob is a sweeter and kinder man and more in love with me than Adam ever was. If he had given me what I wanted then, I wouldn’t have gotten what I have now. And what I have now is better than what I had then. I am always reminded that there is a bigger picture and that He sees it, so I don’t know why in the world Jacob and I got sick yesterday of all days, but I suppose that I do know that Heavenly Father knows best. It just takes me some time to remember that.
Yesterday was also my last day of school. I was too disappointed with the sealing cancellation to revel in my glory of finishing school, but today I am happy that school is over. I wish the next semester was years away.
I know I’ve missed quite a bit because it has been awfully busy. I went up to UT with the boys to see Susan and Shiloh and to go to Susan’s baby shower. Susan and David ended up moving into a new house while I was there, but Susan is pregnant and needed the help anyway, so it’s ok. They’re new place is beautiful and spacious on a huge peace of green land. Makes me want to live someplace else one day, but only as long as my family is there. And Jacob’s family too. We love being near family.
Here are a few pics from the Cedar City trip and Susan’s shower. Didn’t take many pics because we were busy moving.
Her new house makes me want a yard so badly.
I also got my first film scans back last week from Richard Photo lab. There were some really great images which made me totally happy!
I also went to Jeanna Haye’s styled shoot and shot several rolls of film. Hopefully I get some really great stuff from that.
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