Teagan started kindergarten yesterday. I was nervous for him in the weeks leading up to it, but for some reason, as I watched him walk in with his class yesterday, I felt my apprehension slip away and remembered that no child has ever died from going to kindergarten. So many things were running through my head – what if he has to go to the bathroom? What if he doesn’t know where to put his lunch box? What if he gets separated from his class and wanders the halls crying and nobody will help him? It’s hard to throw your child into the world of independence so abruptly. Suddenly he’s not under my wing for 7 hours of the day. He’s in the care of a teacher who doesn’t love him like I do. He’s just another student. And he’s in full-day kindergarten to top it off. I was nervous about all of that, but he was excited, so that made it easier for me. So it wasn’t so bad after all. Today, however, he already complained that school is boring, and he doesn’t want to go every day. Such a different attitude than Easton has ever had about school. Easton has been home sick with hand foot and mouth again. He and Logan are so far the only ones that have gotten it, so hopefully it stays that way. But Easton will go tomorrow for his first day of 3rd grade.
Life with a newborn can be rough, and in Emmy’s case, it has been. As they usually do, my anxiety, depression, and panic attacks set in about a week after Emmy got home from the NICU. That just so happens to be what I deal with after my babies are born, and I hate it, but everyone has their unique cross to bear. And I don’t think anyone is thrilled about their own trials. I had to get back on a high dose of medication to help, and I’ve already been feeling a lot better. It’s mostly just lingering anxiety and restlessness I feel, but it took about 6 weeks to go away after I started medication after Logan. So I take things a day at a time. My angelic mother has come and spent the night several times, and Patti has brought me dinners and helped with the other kiddoes. Heavenly Father doesn’t always take our burdens away, but He gives us the strength and help we need to bear them, often through the hands of other gracious people. I have truly felt that. There are so many good people at my disposal, and I thank the Lord for them daily.
Emerlynn will be 7 weeks in two more days. She has been a handful the past couple weeks. We can tell that her tummy bothers her. She often cries out in pain during her feedings, gets really gassy, and can be inconsolable for hours at a time. We can tell she is in pain. It’s not just a fussy cry. It is so hard to deal with crying that you can’t fix. It’s hard to watch her be in pain and be unable to take her pain away. Logan had a lot of tummy troubles too, but he was never as fussy as she’s been. It really takes a toll on your sanity and physical and emotional wellness to deal with it all day. A friend of mine recommended we take Emmy to a chiropractor that she took her baby to when she was colicky, so I did that yesterday. Afterwards, she was calm and relaxed and drank her bottles with no problem for about 16 hours straight. Then she got fussy again around 5am this morning, so I took her back again today in the late afternoon. If it helps her be happy, I’ll take her every single day for as long as she needs it.
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