Thursday, May 3rd

This has been a busy week. On Monday I have no recollection of what we did. I’m sure I cleaned, cooked, and took care of children. That’s how it usually goes. I probably felt sorry for myself because I have no time for myself. On Tuesday after picking Easton up from school we headed to Coleen’s to swim with Becca and Sadie. On the way there, I stopped at Target to return some hair dye and buy some swimming stuff for the kiddos. Then I stopped and got us Café Rio and picked Jaedyn up before going to Coleen’s. We haven’t had Jaedyn over for a bit, so I thought it would be fun to have her come with us. The boys were happy she got to come. We spent a few hours there while the children played and fought and played and fought. Why are children like that? They love and hate each other all in the same minute. It’s so childish.

Tuesday evening I went to a girls camp meeting with Melisa. I don’t remember what happened yesterday either. I did have a young women’s first aid certification last night, but most of the day is just a blur. Actually, I did got to Target. We seem to do that a lot around here. Target is my place of zen. So I find reasons to go there all the time.  Logan needed more binkies and a fan for his room so that’s what I went for. Oh,  I also cleaned 3 bathrooms. I’m still very proud.

Today after picking Easton up from school we headed over to the neighborhood potluck. We only stayed about an hour, but I got to chat with my friends and the boys got to play. From the potluck we headed to my mom’s so that she could watch the boys while I picked up some adoption papers. That didn’t take very long, so I stopped at Lowe’s afterwards to get a fan for Logan (since the one I bought the previous day was too quiet) and a light for the boys’ room. But I ended up getting nothing since the fan I wanted was all out. Then I headed back to my mom’s and hung out for a couple hours while the kids played with Grandpa and Logan napped. My sweet mom had a dinner all ready for me to take home. One of the greatest things anyone could ever do for me is cook me dinner. Making dinner can be so stressful to me, so having something already made is just a huge load off my shoulders. I’m sure women everywhere feel like that. I can do so many things, but please don’t ask me what’s for dinner because I just don’t know. I think it’s because I want it to be healthy but I want it to be yummy also and it’s hard to find a meal that is both. And I want it to occasionally be vegan or vegetarian and since I don’t like anything, I just find it overwhelming. I would rather just not eat. I have consumed very few calories since Logan came. I don’t have my appetite back yet, and I want to eat healthy, so if I can’t think of something healthy, I just don’t eat. Which is equally unhealthy, so I just lost altogether. That’s okay, I just had a baby. I tell myself this every day – Rachel, you just had a baby.

Tomorrow I am going to go change my name. Finally. My driver’s license still says Rachel Budge, so in the hospital I was Rachel Budge. Logan’s crib card said Logan Budge, and nurses kept calling Jacob and me Mr. and Mrs. Budge. We kept correcting them but finally we just gave up. Jacob was a good sport, he just laughed and said that we should probably just name the baby Logan Jacob Budge Edgel. We almost did. Anyway, I felt so bad that my hubs kept being called by the ex’s name, so I’m going to change my name tomorrow before I have another baby and the same thing happens. Patti is going to watch the boys while I go to the Social Security office. Then in the evening she and Mark are going to watch the boys while Jacob and I go on a triple date with Becca, Juddy, Joseph, and his girlfriend Laura. I’m pretty sure they are officially an item. We are going to dinner and to see the new movie The Avengers.

This morning after drinking his bottle Logan was showing off with cute little smiles. He was 4 weeks yesterday, and I’m pretty sure that’s when Teagan started smiling while he was awake too. I love it so much when babies start smiling when they’re awake. You feel like you’re finally getting something back after all your days of service. I’ve been averaging about 5 hours of sleep, and even though I’m tired, I really feel like the Lord has lightened my burden and helped me to not be too exhausted to function. I’m tired, but not as tired as I would expect to be. I’m a person who really likes my sleep, and 5 hours just doesn’t cut it. But I’m really grateful that I’m not as tired as I should be. It’s been a blessing. Well I’m off to bed. Logan is sleeping, so I should be too.